6 Quintus , 1669
Our stay in Montaign was very short, but full. One the day of our arrival, the Emperor also returned from his trip on Bleys's fey boat. Of course Angela was on and I'm sure that improved Luc's spirits immensely. Not that he'd let anyone know of it. The Emperor had a great deal to catch up on, I'm sure. Our “simple composer” spent many hours speaking with the Emperor. I doubt it was about music. But the events in Montaign were quick and rather brutal by there standards. The Emperor held a ball, celebrating his return. Assassins tried to kill him and the Empress. After rescuing them, the Emperor shot his wife. I would not have thought the man capable of doing is own dirty work. I was wrong. While this was going on, Dominique staged a revolt, claiming to be the Emperor and issuing orders. There were others as well. Even someone who saw fit to coordinate with the Castillian Armada. I am curious as to who in the Montaign court would do that.
Dominique was, of course, our target. She is dead. Luc disposed of her with the sword that was given too us in Ussura. Macduff is also not a threat. So that makes 2 down and 11 of the 13 to go. Cardinal Verdugo is next. An outcome I did not expect was the Emperor agreeing to negotiate peace with Castille. Hopefully, at long last, we can end the war that the church started. Even now we are sailing on the Emperor's flag ship towards home, escorted by half of the armada. This ship is a gaudy nightmare. I though the Fools Fret was overdone, but, I swear, this ship has gold plated cannon balls.
I didn't understand, at first, why it had to Luc to kill Dominique. But I do now. It is the same reason I have to be the one to kill the Cardinal. If Bleys or Luc do it, it could create an international incident. We are trying to achieve peace between Castille and Montaign. Having a Montaign spy kill the head of the inquisition would not help. Neither would having an Avalon merchant's son do it. The Padre is much too close to the situation. While it would be nice to have one of the church take care one of their own, he is Voddaci and, Luc and I both, think that he would hesitate. I am Castillian and I want nothing more then too see that things head on a pike. He is an abomination in the eyes of Theus. He is responsible for tearing apart my family and my country, and he is a continuing threat to my uncle. It is time for him to die.
Luc knew this long before I did. I watch him sometimes and I realize just how much I have to learn and how much I was unprepared for what my life held for me. At times I feel inadequate for the task. Luc and Angelica (now that she is going by her real name) both are far more used to dealing with the intrigue and subtleties of court. I'm not sure I ever want to use those skills on a regular basis, but I need to know them. Part of me resents the idea of giving up what few ideals about people I have left, but I'm not sure it is avoidable. I hope that when it is all said and done, I will still be someone that my children can respect.
I look at my companions and I realize that without noticing they have become a second family to me. While I would like nothing more then to be with my real family, I cannot. But I am not alone either. I have people who care about and will be at my side when I need them. While I must be the one to kill the Cardinal, I do not face the fight alone. These are people I am honored to call family and I will be honored let my children know, as long as Bleys does not take them to a tavern. When the Cardinal is dead, I am going to have to face the situation with the twins. I need to find a home where they will be safe until I am done with my task. I do not want to leave them, but I cannot walk away knowing that I can might be able to change the fate of the world. I hope they can forgive me. Being in a similar situation has made it easier for me to forgive my father for leaving us. I have to think that he had a good reason and while I cringe at the thought that I might die never having met him, I no longer hold any resentment towards him. I simply miss him and mother. That is the one thing that keeps me from being truly terrified of facing the Cardinal. I know that if I die, my mother is waiting for me and part of me cannot wait to see her. But there is much I must do first and I would like to meet my father and my brother. So I will not look for death, but I will not fear it either.
Luc, I have a suspicion that you are sneaking around and reading this diary, even though it is supposed to be private. However, since you are, here is what I would like you to do in the event of my death: take my fathers sword and this diary to Don Andrés Béjarano de Aldana, he will know what to with them. The names I have picked for the twins are Alejendro Javier y Torres del Castille and Adaleida Esperanza y Torres del Castille. Please see that their names are along with mine when we are buried. If I am wrong and you did not read any of this until after my death, then I apologize for accusing a mere composer of such sneakiness and I hope you will forgive, brother.