22 of Tertius 1669
Vodacce is strange place and not all that welcoming. Here it is a crime to be a woman. A woman can not even go buy a dress without being escorted by a man. Never have I experienced this kind of oppression. There are only two kinds of women that Vodacce men give any attention too: fate witches or courtesans. Being disguised as neither, I am invisible in Vodacce. This does give me a certain perspective. I have never been a part of society events with that sort of invisibility before. I am beneath notice and beneath contempt as far as the Vodacce men, or any one else is concerned. As I watch I can almost see the aura of fear and desperation about the men. They are trying so to control their women, especially the fate witches that they can not see what is in front of their faces. One only has to watch to see that Vodacce women, of any stripe, are not as weak as the men try to make them. The Vodacce talk about “The Game” that the merchant princes are playing to gain power, but there is even a greater power struggle going on that most of the men are oblivious too. I can see it when courtesans smile at the gentlemen they are with, or when a man goes to a fate witch for advise. Even the subtle ways a wife will defer to husband while convincing him that what he is doing is his idea. The women of Vodacce have surpassed their men in the subtle arts of manipulation. Not that they can see this or admit it. But seeing this type of oppression has made me come to a decision.
I refuse to be ashamed of what has happened to me. I am not to blame for being pregnant and I will not go hide in some convent, as the Padre Guiseppe keeps trying to send me simply because other people are uncomfortable. I am going to go home and have my children and that is the end of it. Of course I'm not completely impractical, I figure hiring a couple of Eisen mercenaries to go along with me.
Celeste has been something of a double-edged sword. She knows my father which makes me jealous to no end, but she has also been a great comfort and source of strength for me. For whatever reason my father does not wish me to know who he is, which leads me to wonder if Don Andres' went against his desires when he informed me. It is odd for us to discuss a man in which both of us know his name but neither of us can speak it. At any rate I am glad she is here and I am glad that my father as such people as her at his disposal. I am also honored to call her sister.
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